1024: Making Room for Life

Happy Programmer’s Day! A change from the usual technical notes today: a few thoughts on work, keeping up, and making room for the rest of life. Mostly for my future self to look back on, as ever. 👀

In China, we celebrate Programmer’s Day on 24 October: 1024 is 2 to the power of 10, a familiar number in computing. When I first learnt the reason for the date, it made immediate sense. Of course we’d pick a power of two for a celebration.

I started working in July 2022. Work in 2026 has had its busy stretches, but overall, it’s felt noticeably less intense than in the previous few years. AI has made a real difference to how much I can get done. Enough of a difference that I occasionally wonder whether I’ll still qualify to celebrate this day in a few years. I’d quite like to keep my invitation, thanks. 😅

For now, though, the strange thing is that getting work done faster hasn’t made it much easier to switch off.

I’m glad to have some breathing room. I just don’t want to fill all of it with more work. If AI helps me finish something sooner, I’d like some of that saved time to become an evening I can actually enjoy, rather than another opportunity to get ahead.

There’s always something else to learn. Another tool, another model, another workflow that apparently changes everything. AI’s usefulness varies from one field to another; in mine, it’s already hard to ignore. I’m curious, so I keep trying things out. But that curiosity can turn into a nagging feeling that taking a proper break will leave me hopelessly behind.

Earlier this year, I wrote about finding my own rhythm. I still mean it. I’m just finding it easier to write about slowing down than to actually slow down.

I still enjoy what I do. I’m probably a geek, but I’m no genius, and I certainly don’t have an unlimited supply of energy. Trying to keep up with everything takes time away from the rest of my life, and lately I’ve been less willing to pay that price.

I want to be a bit more selective about what I learn. Does it help with a problem I actually have? Am I curious enough to spend an evening on it? Either seems a good reason. Feeling guilty because everyone else appears to know about it is a less convincing one.

I’ve also started noticing how narrow my world can get. I’m getting older, but I don’t always feel more comfortable with people or more capable outside work. Sometimes I wonder whether I’ve spent so much time getting better at one thing that I’ve barely practised anything else.

I’d like to be more at ease in conversations where I have no expertise to fall back on. I want to listen, ask questions and get to know people whose daily lives look different from mine. It sounds ordinary, but I need to make time for it instead of assuming it will somehow happen around work.

So I’ve been going to concerts and alumni gatherings I might previously have skipped because work came first. I’ve started planning road trips and getting out to explore. One small achievement this year: getting my Shanghai exploration score on Amap to 100%. It doesn’t mean I’ve seen every corner, obviously, but I’m pleased with it anyway. 😎

I don’t want every trip or evening out to need a justification, either. A concert can simply be a chance to hear music I like; a drive can be a chance to look around somewhere unfamiliar. Enjoying myself should be enough of a reason to put something in the diary and keep the time free.

Getting out more has brought new experiences, new conversations, and a few feelings I don’t quite know what to do with.

Relationships are probably the most confusing part. If I count a brief almost-relationship in my first year at university, I’m now in my ninth year of being single. I rushed into that almost-relationship partly to get over my first crush from senior high school. Looking back, that wasn’t a good reason to start something with someone else. If it doesn’t count, I’ve never really been in a relationship.

My lack of experience can be awkward. On my birthday this year, I went on a date arranged by my family. I hadn’t really wanted to go, but couldn’t think of a good reason to decline, so I went out of politeness. The conversation turned to sex. When I said I’d never had sex, she thought I wasn’t being honest. I wasn’t quite sure what to say to that.

Still, I’d like to meet more people without overthinking every interaction or trying to be someone I’m not. For now, I’m happy to take my time, respect boundaries and let things develop naturally.

Anyway, the plan is fairly ordinary: do my work properly, keep learning what matters, and stop giving quite so much of my spare time to whatever I feel I ought to learn next. Make friends. Go places. Leave some evenings unoptimised.

Maybe I’m making peace with myself, or simply learning to take things a little easier. I hope you find more time for the things you enjoy, too.